Butter, burglars and banditry
This mystery involves butter and begins with eight long minutes of fridge and cupboard opening bewilderment. Where on earth were the butter knobs?
Puzzled thoughts included possibly having to rename ‘man look’ to testing for early onset dementia. Maybe I just need stronger HRT patches. Perhaps the kids have tidied up, perhaps the husband has put it in the spice cupboard?
My little brain was slowly whirring when finally the penny dropped.
Big Dog!
How on earth it took eight minutes to get to the prime suspect is a hand to face moment and why I even imagined my teenagers tidying up beggars belief.
It simply had to be Big Dog. Especially as he has previous. And very long lurcher legs.
He must have seen an opportunity, slipped into stealth mode and swiftly helped himself to three-quarters of a pack of neatly cut, butter knobs. They had been placed nicely in a bowl but obviously not pushed back far enough on the kitchen worktop.
And yet, when questioned his furry face gave nothing away. Totally blank, one could even go as far as to say he wore a hint of ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ innocence. Plus there was no trace evidence around his mouth or on his paws, perhaps it wasn’t him.
We had to wait a full 24hrs before the mystery was officially solved.
At 3am the following day, the husband leapt from his bed having been woken by a loud sound. Somebody was trying to break in. He scanned the garden from the bedroom window but nothing moved. Then came another bang. Armed only with torch light, he ventured bravely downstairs to check the back door.
Seconds later he almost dropped his phone as Big Dog leapt up to grab at the door handle. Letting him up the garden, the dog flew to the dark, tree lined corner. Half expecting the squeals of burglars, instead came the tell tale explosive sounds of butter banditry guilt.
Busted!
Hence forth, Big Dog is now affectionately known as Lord Butter Bum.
Case closed!
Our Otterhound, Albert, was a great butter thief, we couldn’t leave butter out of the fridge but then he was also very found of eating soap and hand cream ! His star turn was managing to eat a whole carrot cake when my mum turned her back on him!
Ooh love carrot cake, I think I could be Albert’s perfect partner in crime although I’ll not ask to share in the hand cream starter!
Thank -you so much for sharing this!!! It got my day off to a great start. You would think, as doggy parents, that we would know better but it still takes me time to realise that when something goes missing there is one culprit – my Cavachon, Sweep. Glasses, slippers, shoes, pens – he even goes in visitors handbags!! Just lovely though!!
And doesn’t he look so innocent, I have seen that look on my GSDs in the past, but thanks for sharing it, it gave me a chuckle. Don’t they manage to look so clean too, no trace of the missing food.
The only time he shows a hint of guilt is when caught in the act, other than that, pure denial!
🤣at least he managed to return the butter to the garden and not the kitchen floor
That’s exactly what I said. Such a good boy thief!
love it!
We have a very large greyhound and given the opportunity he likes to snaffle food My husband asked me to check if the chicken bites were cold enough to go in the fridge. Too late the dog had eaten them! He also ate a pan of stir fry.
It definitely looks like the long nose and leggy canine variety make the best thieves!
Love how this was written, a happy start to the weekend!
Lord Butter Bum in his innocence, a great art print?
Thanks Madeleine, thrilled it made you smile x
That really made me laugh! Hope Lord Butter Bum’s bowel is better now x
He’s a street rescue and thankfully seems to have the constitution of an Ox!
Lord Butter Bum is a bit naughty but also very hadsome.
Isn’t he just! He is also incredibly aloof but this makes me adore him even more!
Love it! I had a Labrador who stole a large Toblerone from under the Christmas tree when we were out, tore the wrapping off & scoffed the lot. As the wrapping was scattered around, we knew it had been one of our dogs, then she was sick all over the carpet later so we found the culprit!
Cheeky Lab, hope you told her crime doesn’t pay!
So funny. When I still lived at home my brother had a lurcher who stole my mam’s chocolate eclairs. She had put them on top of the cooker (old fashioned high level grill type). She went to get them and they weren’t there. She search all over for them and then looked at Sheba and discovered chocolate stains around her mouth. She believed the cooker was too high for her to get them.
Honestly, lurchers, absolute loveable rogues!
Ah bless him, I bet he would do it again the temptation would be to great, even though the consequences have to be dealt with lol. But I do have to admit he’s so handsome . Xx
You’re right, he would absolutely do it again, my fault for not tidying up straight away!
Lucky your pooch was in the kitchen and not snoozing by your bed !
Could have had a nice surprise when putting your slippers on in the morning
Ha Ha Ha – has made me laugh this lovely Sunday morning.
One of my goldies once managed to poo into one of my loafers – a perfect fit with no overspill !
How did he do that ??
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Weren’t we just, I did have to praise him for being such a good boy and making the effort to get outside, even if it did scare the living daylights out of the husband!